2007 Darwin Award Winner

The 2007 winners have just been announced at the Darwin Awards web site (full article here). The Darwin Awards are "named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, [and] commemorate those who improve our gene pool by accidentally removing themselves from it."

Yesterday you read about the runners-up. Here is this year's big winner:

The Enema Within

Michael was an alcoholic. And not an ordinary alcoholic, but an alcoholic who liked to take his liquor... well, rectally.

His wife said he was "addicted to enemas" and often used alcohol in this manner. The result was the same: inebriation. The machine shop owner couldn't drink alcohol due to a painful throat ailment, so he elected to receive his favorite beverage via enema.

One May evening, Michael was in for one hell of a party. He convinced his wife to administer two 1.5 litre bottles of sherry, more than 100 fluid ounces, right up the old address! When the rest of us have had enough, we either stop drinking or pass out. When Michael had had enough (and subsequently passed out) the alcohol remaining in his rectal cavity continued to be absorbed.

The next morning, Michael was dead. The 58-year-old did a pretty good job of embalming himself. According to toxicology reports, his blood alcohol level was 0.47%, but his wife was arrested for administering the fatal enema.

In order to qualify for a Darwin Award, a person must remove himself from the gene pool via an "astounding misapplication of judgment." Three litres of sherry up the butt can only be described as astounding. (5/21/04, Texas; charges against wife were finally dropped in 2007)