"Mummy, there's a creepy man peering into my window!"
And you thought his Xanadu stuff sucked.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
I have an aunt and uncle who used to drive their motorhome up for Christmas and sleep in it in my grandparents' driveway at night. I always found that odd. They never traveled without their little yippy dog, which did nothing but beg for food and get in the goddamn way all day long. It always got stepped on at least once, and it always left a nice Christmas turd somewhere in the house for the kids to find and report to my grandmother.
This same uncle, Roy, once had a fistfight with the AC repairman on his front lawn because the guy charged too much, he said. All the neighbors on their little street gathered around to watch the fun. "Kick his ass, Roy!" I never heard who won, but my money's on Roy... a big guy with an awful temper. I never saw him without a toothpick in his mouth -- well, except at his son's funeral.
Ah, Georgia. Whatcha gonna do?
Here's a nice video from Tracie.
Someone paid money for these.
The snowman tried to hide before the photo was taken, but he wasn't quick enough.
Benny traded his bite stick and bus helmet for this sweater.
Grandma hated to waste anything, so when she ended up with three extra Santa heads, she stuck one on the arm and two on the back.
It looks like he horked down the front of his shirt.
The Playboy Christmas sweater. Because the birth of Jesus and porno mags go great together.
WTF? She looks like a Christmas suicide bomber. How does she stand up straight with all that shit on there? Oh, I know -- she has an anvil hanging from her back.
If you're wondering who gave Mom the Scotty Christmas vest, I'm guessing it's the guy with the mullet on the shelf back there.
Fuckin' teenagers. They never appreciate nice gifts.
The best thing about this sweater on eBay...
... is that it came with this super-sexy track suit.
She's checking for a heartbeat, because most guys wouldn't be caught dead in that thing.
If I had this vest, I'd wear it just like this -- with nothing under it. I might not even wear pants. But I would wear a top hat. And maybe a little one on my penis, too.
The Rorschach Sweater. Most patients say it looks like someone lost a snowball fight.
Did this come from the Mount Vernon gift shop? It looks like George and Martha Washington Snowman.
What, you thought only Americans had crappy taste?
I bet Coca-Cola makes its employees wear this to work.
This one looks like an afterthought. Someone was tired of the powder blue V-neck so she just stuck a bunch of Christmas shit on it.
Now we know where beads go to die.
She got just back from Sgt. Pepper auditions, but I don't know what the fuck he's thinking.
Sid The Surfin' Jew shows off a gift from a fan
Jerry got dibs on the Christmas sweater, so Maggie got stuck wearing the tablecloth.
Who wants to play Menorah Invaders?