National Enquirer Commercials of the Day

I loved these commercials back in the 80s. They were so stupid and scandalous. I was curious about the tantalizing details, yet hated the rag for trying to tempting me.

Loni Anderson and Burt Reynolds? Oh, yeah. We got the doit on dem.

Later they made the ads less salacious and tried to class up the feel of the trash a touch. They lost me at the smooth jingle. They've removed all the snappy bits and couched a few stories in a bunch of well-photographed footage. This ain't the New York friggin' Times, guys! Gimme some dirt!

My favorite remains elusive. I search for it periodically. It involves the ghost of Marilyn Monroe crying out from beyond the grave "It was murder!" They had a paper cutout of Marilyn and the breathy voice of a Marilyn impersonator doing the crying out. Someday I'll see it again.

These commercials were all about crap, but the technical prowess was amazing. They must have taken a long time to make for a weekly rag, but the editing was snappy and the schlocky animation, and early use of blue (or green) screen made the ads enjoyable.

-Lefty